It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
