That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
