Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize