Kiss
Puke
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Randomize
