Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
