Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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