i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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