That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
