Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
