Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Randomize
