Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
