I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
