You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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