We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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