So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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