Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
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