If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize