Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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