I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
