Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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