Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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