I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize