You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
