I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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