hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
