what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize