I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
