You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
of course. lets lasso hookers.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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