he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize