My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
