Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Randomize
