i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I came so hard my ears popped.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize