I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
