so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Randomize
