I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
