My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
