Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
