In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
