Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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