just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
