So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Why are your pants in the freezer?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
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