i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize