we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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