just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Randomize
