i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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