the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Randomize
