i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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