i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
