Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Randomize
