You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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