Jerry, you need to find god
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
