8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I will die if light touches me.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
