I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
