the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
