I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
