Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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