Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
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