I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
accomplished twins. life is a go
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
