Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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