Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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