I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
The beers last night were like the tears from god
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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