I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Randomize
