I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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