Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
