i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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