I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
