My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
