U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize