Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
